live. love. and dream. a star that constantly burns in the sky.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The End?

Well, I am hereby closing this blog. It'll still be up for archives and stuff...but otherwise my blogging experience is being moved to my website. Which, *by the way* has been updated! There are also comments on the website, so you guys can still leave comments and stuff.

I did this so that the site can have more visitors and be more interactive. Please visit =) I'd really appreciate it. By the way I need permission to link to you guys from my website. Is that okay?

Anyway, *hats off* to this blog for its years of service.

Bai Bai~ adieu

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

pop

*crack*
*stretch*

ermm....=_- so tire.d...*grumble* and hungry. bah............have had so much free time but have not been working on my story! must get into the habit! perhaps every morning ill work on it...yes yes maybe

hmmmmmmmm slow lately - but wat can u do? heheheh...yeah, life is...interesting.

WEIRD-ASS dreams last night! but too lazy to write about them. hahaha i wanna go to parkway mall today (well actually i HAVE to) but i dont wanna go alone........

ne1 wanna come!?? :D

haha...as if, ne1 can who'll read this

*sees four days later* OH ILL GO- oh wait...this was written four days ago. *eheheh...

looolz ok i dont know why i found that funny haha

hmm not much to say!

baibai!


oh yes, patiently awaiting the arrival of more acceptance LETTERS !!! COME ON PPL!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

lost

im being absorbed by the passing moments...days...nights...one in the same...so tired...so awake...so restless...this damn flyff! b4 i drew...wrote...did website. now a week has gone by and i haf nothing to show for it!!!

i dunno wat to say there never is ne thing to say...im just...writing...writing...typing...meaningless words-- why am i overemotional!?!? i try not to be but everything is a big deal to me. the moon is a big deal to me..itz so pretty...songs r big deals. words, pictures. ne thing! i can cry to ANYTHING and i mean literally....sigh....sigh...sigh...sigh...maybe itz like that book i read. i dont remember the title...that girl twho can feel pplz emotions so much that she gotta put up a shield...i gotta do that or something

friendships, especially relationships. all big deals to me. huge. sigh -_-

memories...but not memories. my memories are not memories..they are feelings.

and they all mix...and wash together...and there's this poison deep down inside...that infects me...and it spreads thru me...and all i can do is silently suffer...while trying to fight it at the same time

fly away

Friday, March 10, 2006





Here's a pic of Blue...did this one with pencil crayons so it kinda has a faded out, grungy, look.

I really like her facial expression, though! It says a lot about her mood and personality...

Anyway...as for how I'm feeling...for some reason I feel lonely tonight, which is weird. I haven't felt this way for a while even though I've been out of school for a month now...*shrugs* Although I shouldn't be surprised :P I'm an attention whore...

I would message someone online...but there's nothing to say, and usually the conversations just end up dying. But I should still try, I guess ^^;.

Blarghorlatorz!!!! *shrugs* - oh shoot, my laundry! Gah...gotta do that. Anyway...just updating...o.o =D

later

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Absolute Zero

You should know, I'm writing for you, wherever you are.

It all started a couple of years back, as we all know. The PIGs attacked six years ago, on December 30, 2000 during our New Year's festivities. Despite how many days have passed I still feel like it was yesterday. The war has just been going on for too long, now...the struggle for humans to overcome death, a concept that hangs over everyone's heads.

For the record, the PIGs were not as stupid as peoeple assume them have to be. It doesn't take a scientist to realize that they picked the perfect moment to attack in each time zone of the world - New Year's, and for 2000, of all years. I'm not sure whether it was a god-sent or not, but many people were in their own ways prepared for it - expecting the apocolypse, or something like it.

Instead they got PIGs.

I really hope someday in the future our children can laugh at such a concept. PIGs? Why, those little creatures that scurry around on four legs? You don't mean to say, those same ones we make pork-chops from?

If only. Now the concept of a "PIG" strikes fear and madness into the eyes of every lost soul on this god-forsaken shell of a city. When I think about its state I get shivers down my spine - sure, Toronto was never the lovliest city in the world...but seeing it reduced to a wasteland is something else. You don't think it possible on first assumption that PIGs could do all this alone - and you're right. I don't want the children to grow up thinking the PIGs are responsible for all of this - no, PIGs don't blow up cities...countries, even. A PIG's one soul misson in life is to breed - and breeding is ALL they do. A simple bite, mingling of the saliva to the blood (or at least that's what we think) does the trick, and suddenly a human warps into a PIG right in front of your eyes. Half human, half PIG - 100% monster. No, PIGs did not cause the degregration of our civilization - we did. Plain and simple as that...people against people, it's the oldest dispute in history. No matter what, humans make the same mistakes - and that's to fight one another. Instead of ganging up against the PIGs the people started completly flipping out and killing anything that moved. No one was to be trusted; no one.

So this is where I'll start the story, because honestly I think it deserves to be written down before such a time is completly forgotten. You have your own triligies to write, Tory, but this...this is mine, and mine alone.

This is Cold-Blue.

It can't be named anything else. It's the feeling you get on a cold winter's morning - the wind slapping against your lungs mercilessly. Everything is hued a grey-blue, the crsip sky pressing down on the world. You're left staring out into its immensity, feeling small and feeble against the force of nature - the power of the world.

That is cold-blue.

"What are you looking at?" my bratty little sister, Mandy, asked, staring at me with one of her insane smiles.

"Nothing," I replied, shivering. Quickly I clutched her mitted hand and led her down the driveway. The morning was bitter, relentless. I cursed my sister for her need to go to the park in such cold weather.

At least I wont be alone, I thought with a sigh.

I saw her before she noticed me, clutching the swing she sat on while staring up at the sky.

Does she feel it too?

Many flew from my grip and cried, "Crystal!" Noticing, her eyes flew back to earth and caught Mandy before being consumed by the brat's monster-hug.

"Hey, Mandy!" she said, putting her down, "you wanna push on the swing?"

"Yeah!"

Crystal helped her up and gave her a gentle push. Sighing, I kicked a piece of ice to be noticed.

"I saw ya, Lili," she said with her usual casualness. "Pretty cold, eh?"

I propped my ass on the cold bench glad that there was barely any snow - it had been a mild winter. "Sure is."

"But it's winter break, so I'm glad we're spending it well - right Mandy?"

"Higher!" the brat replied instead, forcing Crystal to give her another push.

I scoffed. "Yeah, right...I'd rather be sleeping, cozy, in my..." I had been about to say, "my room", but really, such a thing didn't exist. With seven children my parents had found it hard to supply each of us with such a luxary.

"My house?" Crystal continued my sentence, giving me a teasing grin.

Snorting I looked to the sky - it was true, in a way, that Crystal's was like a second home to me. She was a spoiled only child with two middle-class parents. Her life was incrediably ideal to me, in fact, i had spent most of my time there, even sleeping over once and a while.

Rubbing my eyes I looked to the sky again, seemingly catching something in the distant horizen.

A plane, I thought, longingly, soaring in the free sky.

"Whatever," was my reply, "I'm just so tired...thanks again for coming out her so early in the morning, by the way."

"No problem," she remarked with a sweet smile, "it's our little New Year's park party! Right - Mandy?"

Many was not happy. "Stop the swing - now!" she cried, flailing her legs with such a force that Crystal had to drag her to a stop.

"It's too cold!"

"My god," I said, jumping from the bench, "you are such a brat!" Rolling my eyes, I hefted her from the swing and dropped her to the frozen sand. "I guess we're going back - sorry, Crys."

She shrugged. "It's no problem...not like either of us live far from here."

"Home - now!"

"Yeah, yeah," I growled while snatching her hand. "See yeah later, Crys."

"See you!" she called after us, "And have a happy New Year's!"

"Yeah you too!" I called over my shoulder, dragging Mandy along. For some reason I could feel her watching my back, as if, there was something important she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to do so. Whatever it was, and of course, I have my suspicions, I'll never know.

I wouldn't see Crystal for about another four weeks, and by then, it was too late.


-----------------------------------------------------

hows this for a beginning - eh jade? i took me forever to find the book we put all the stuff down it! argh! ...hmm im so tired im sure there's so many mistakes.

i wrote this, btw! this is mine - if ne1 wants it they gotta ask for my permisson! lol ggetting used to this legal...stuff. haha

ne way hope u enjoy it - tell me wat u think!

damn i wish u were awake - whyd u go to sleep early? hahaha

cu!

oh ps - u like the title, dont u? absolute zero...awsome, isnt it? hehehe

Sunday, March 05, 2006

McD's...not...so...good

Argh...I feel sick, went to McDs....shouldn't...have...done that...BLARGH!

This morning I woke up to my cat making barfing noises....right_beside_my_face. Quickly pushing her off the bed I heard a few BLARGHs and quickly looked down. I saw her standing near the door with a piece of food near here on the carpet...I thought, good, that's all she's got. *sigh* Better go clean it up. I get off of the bed only to step on a pile of...you guessed it, barf! So that was my morning.

W00t.

My room is offically RED! I think it looks good, maybe today I'll take some pics and post them up. Still got some stuff to put up though...and clothes to put away. I hope I don't hold it off X_X!!!

Ne way...that's my update!

l8r

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Feverish Dance of the Stars

I'll Be Your Love

I've always carried around
This pain for you
I've been learning to discover
The meaning of sacrafice
I don't want this to end
In more tears shed

I just want to live

I've been searching the stars
Just to find you
I have a fluttering heart
While thinking of you
And in the midst of it all
I find myself longing...

I just want to live

I just want to breathe freely

Once again

----------------------------------------
Well, this one (above) was inspired by the song I (am) listening to. (9 min long song omfg!) Maybe reflecting a bit of my feelings...not too sure, mostly influenced by the song though. It kinda reflects the sacrafices of love, the bindings of it...the narrator wants to experience a sense of letting go. Just letting all anxieties fly away. It's just a reflective poem, and there really is nothing learned from it, nothing decided. It's not sad though, and I don't think it's meant to be.

Well, I was going to write another one but nothings coming. XD Ah well, just wanted to write a little as a sort of warm up.

Hope everything's going good with everyone.

I'm here in my hole! XP hahah jkz jkz

Wellz, nm to say (what could I say!?) got no phone calls back from all those peoples I handed resumes out to...*le sigh*

Ah well. ttyl all



edit: i have updated Loki's Nightmare. fire.complex.livejournal.com...you know the drill! the text is kinda screwed up, it changed colour in some places...just ignore it.

haf fun!